12

There's lots of things I've grown to love at number 89
The mouldy ceilings, smelly loos, the kitchen sink plus grime
The bloody stupid useless drain that blocks up every week
The upstairs shower that seems to think it needs to fucking leak
But much as I have come attached to all these awesome features
The one outstanding bestest thing is a funny little creature
I met her once inside a club but was so stunned by her looks
That I turned and ran away upstairs and hid in some dark nook
But once I'd settled in the house and felt a lot more calm
I started to realise that beauty aside she actually had charm
Her name is Chloe Trundle and here you shall now see
What her funny trundly name really means to me

C is for cute; because really she is the cutest most scrumptious young thing
H is for humble; I think she forgets that her talent is worthy of kings
L is for loving; cliché but she is, it's easy to see that for sure
O is outgoing; she's crazy and fun and never a pain or a bore
E is for elegant; you're having a laugh, I've seen better poise in a horse
T is for terribly awfully loud; when she laughs and she screams and guffaws
R is for retard; did I just say that? Well to be honest she's said it too
U is for under that hat is a sheep; I swear that I've seen it let loose
N is for nude; I just have to mention she's naked at least half the time
D is delightful; even when stressed she stills remains close to divine
L is for London; where she's off to next, where I know she'll be a huge hit
E is for 'Ell; I hope her suitcase is big, or else how am I going to fit